“Liar, liar, pants on fire!” — Unknown
Whoever came up with that saying was a bit of a genius, I'd say.
The truth is a great, solid, knowable concept, but Procrastinators have a tendency to shy away from it. Procrastinators lie to themselves, e.g. when they tell themselves they have ten minutes to get to class, but know it really takes twenty. Procrastinators lie to others to cover up all sorts of things, like feeling unable to write or being so disorganized that being on time is nearly impossible. One of the most powerful tools in dealing with Procrastination is learning to be comfortable telling the truth. Notice I didn't say learning to feel comfortable with the truth. Oftentimes the truth is not so pretty. But it is important to learn others can tolerate what you have to say and what is going on in your life. It is also important to learn you can talk about the truth of your life as well.
When we lie, certain dynamics start:
- we bring ourselves off-center from what we know to be true
- our anxiety shoots up
- our ability to focus goes down
- we learn to believe (falsely) that other people will never understand or accept who we are if we tell them the truth
- other people think they know what you want and need when they really don't (because you haven't told them)
It is these types of dynamics that keep Procrastinators locked into a cycle of lying to themselves and to others, even for minor, insignificant matters. Of course it is no small task to learn how to feel comfortable telling the truth. When we begin to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, we begin to feel the emotions we have blocked out with our lying. We realize we are more connected with people when we are truthful and we have to deal with that responsibility.
When we begin telling the truth…
- we feel better because we no longer feel burdened
- we feel emboldened because we realize we don't have to hide in darkness anymore
- we feel in line with the truth and calmer as a result
- we feel more focused
- we feel happy and grateful our pants are no longer on fire
- people begin to react to us based on trust rather than skepticism for what we have to say
In order to feel comfortable telling the truth, we must convince ourselves, even though we may feel unsure, that we are on safe ground. We need to believe what we have to say will not jeopardize us in any irreparable way. The process of transitioning from lying to being honest and straightforward is a truly gratifying one. Once you have established your comfort with telling the truth, the world will be your oyster. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the truth.
What are you hiding right now? What lies might you be telling yourself and to others? Do you keep having to go shopping to buy new pants? I'd love to hear your thoughts on lying and Procrastination. Please feel free to leave your comments here.
