There are many paths by which simple Procrastination develops into a full-blown Procrastination Cycle. Perhaps you know a few of them.
One avenue by which Procrastination takes hold is the absence of communication. When we are reluctant or unable to speak what is on our minds, we teach ourselves that only we can manage our own distress and that we are voiceless.
When we start to feel that way, our anxiety begins to escalate and then the stakes seem even bigger, because all of a sudden we become the only person responsible for the outcome of the work we are supposed to be doing. As our anxiety begins to escalate, we feel confused about how to break away from it. We begin to focus on calming our anxiety. This draws our focus away from our work.
As time goes on, we lose the connection between the start of the assignment and the end and we get very lost in the middle space. We know exactly what needs to be done, can even think of it as being “easy,” but cannot push ourselves to get to the finish line. The Procrastination Cycle drains our motivation and our spirit for doing our work.
How did we let ourselves get this way? How did we allow this cycle of inefficiency and stress to take root?
Before you begin to answer these questions, please consider that you began your Procrastination Cycle in order to take care of something. Perhaps you meant to:
- save someone the trouble of having to help
- spare someone the time that they would have needed to contribute
- act like a good kid, a good student, a good employee, a good patient, or a good spouse
- spare yourself the trouble of communicating to someone who wouldn't be able to understand you or what you needed
Perhaps you were going to answer the questions above by responding “I am lazy.” I want to stop you from doing that. In all my years of doing this work, I have not found any Procrastinators to be lazy. They are not lazy because they care, they are motivated, and they are invested. They may be misunderstood as being lazy, but they are not actually lazy. But they are trapped. Trapped in the seemingly never-ending cycle of stress-avoidance-stress-avoidance.
I believe whole-heartedly we all can break the Procrastination Cycle. The good news is that all it takes is one behavior to break a cycle. The not-so-easy news is we have to have the courage to change our ways. We don't just have to change our actions, we need to change the underlying beliefs we have which tend to keep the Procrastination Cycle in constant motion.
So if it is a lack of communication that keeps you stymied — communicate.
So if you feel you need to be a good ____________ all the time, assume you are always good and — communicate.
So if you think you need to protect someone else's schedule, decide to let them decide for themselves what they'll do and — communicate.
So if you want to unburden someone else of their chores, start focusing on your own burdens, ask someone for help and — communicate.
You're really not going to break anyone by talking out loud. Ever. What you will get from talking out loud is a sense of what's going on, how to feel, and how to get going on your way again. You'll know just how to get out of your Procrastination Cycle. Find a real path to your own freedom and take it.
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