Procrastinators are great at telling themselves what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, many of those directions are rooted in a need for total clarity. Procrastinators tend not to act if there is an absence of clarity.
In case I’m not making sense yet, here are some examples of what I mean:
- I’m not going to throw out this piece of paper because I might need it someday
- I’m not going to say “hello” to her in case she doesn’t recognize me
- I’m not going to finish this essay even though the deadline is approaching because I’m not sure if my professor is going to like what I’m saying
- I’m not going to move forward on this project because I do not have a sense of how it is all going to turn out
- I’m going to delay making this decision because I don’t know a better way to manage my stress about having to make this decision
I think it’s ironic how Procrastinators are seen as slackers, when in fact, many of us Procrastinators suffer in inactivity because we care so much about making things right.
We get ourselves in trouble when we insist on having total clarity before making a move.
My own method of bypassing this need for clarity is to work on accepting that so many things and outcomes in life are never going to be clear. I know from my own life story and from the stories of the patients I have worked with over many years that we cannot know how things will turn out in:
- our career choices
- our choice of partners
- the transitions we often have to go through
- matters of our physical health
- the aftermath of a major disappointment
- others’ lives
- our best-laid plans
Don’t get me wrong — I’m not made of steel. I still occasionally get totally flattened by anxiety because I’m not in total control of what will happen when I have to make a decision.
If you are currently feeling stuck, stifled, or stressed out by a decision you have to make, take a step back and see what you know already. It may be you started feeling paralyzed from acting because you knew you had enough information to go on, but didn’t want to risk making the wrong move. It could be you were so afraid to look at the details involved in your situation, that your decision making skills ground to a halt. It might be your fear of taking control of your own life made you feel unable to make a reasonable choice.
Avoid stopping yourself from moving forward. It’s okay to be clear.
We can speak with clarity and assertiveness about our decisions, even if we are not sure which way things are going to turn out. We can know with clarity that we arrived at our decision after sufficient thought and consideration, and because we tried our best in the decision-making process.
Do yourself a favor today and take a look at any situations which make you feel nervous or afraid to act. Here's how:
- Evaluate what is frightening you. Be very specific so you can know how to target your fear.
- Specifically target that fear. If you have a penchant for thinking that others might think you are not responsible, every time that distracting thought comes into your head, take a minute to say to yourself, “Oh, there’s my fear of being seen as irresponsible again. Bo-ring. Now where was I?” Repeat as often as necessary, and hopefully to a point where you’re so bored with your self-attacks that you stop launching them!
- Bring your anxiety down. Calm yourself down by taking a pause, taking a shower, calling a friend, or taking a walk. Avoid spending too much time getting calmer. As you take steps to calm yourself, you’ll be keeping an eye on yourself to make sure you are working towards your goal, not away from it.
- Take the fastest route towards moving that fear out of your perspective. Outline the next step you will take to move forward.
- Commit to something involving the number 3. Tell yourself you will only allow yourself to delay for another 3 minutes, 30 minutes, 3 hours, or 3 days. You get to pick which time frame. Pick the 3 that fits your circumstances the best. What is the absolute fastest time frame you can make your next move within? Three days is the outer limit because honestly, after you’ve waited more than 3 days to work on something, you have bigger problems brewing than just the original project you have been worrying about.
- Coach yourself into believing that everything will work out okay. This is something that is difficult for people with anxiety, obsessional tendencies, depression, or negative thinking. It is something that is difficult for all of us at different times. We cannot face having to make an action if we are consumed with the problems that lie just ahead. Remind yourself that our minds and bodies were built for smooth functioning and for resiliency in those times when stress is high. Utilize that high-level imagination you have and convince yourself that all will work out in the end.
These suggestions demonstrate how we can move forward despite not having a guarantee on our outcomes. When we stay in motion, we are able to see our options more clearly and to move towards better opportunities more quickly because we are already in motion. With all the complexities involved in our lives, having that type of clarity feels sufficient and good.
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