I often am asked if perfectionism is linked to Procrastination.  I answer with a resounding “Yes!”  We Procrastinators hold back from completing what we start, for fear of being found out for the imperfect creatures we feel ourselves to be.  We each have different stories about our personal deficiencies, and those stories are underlying our refusal to move forward with what we know we ought to be doing.

Perfectionism is Neither Simple Nor Perfect

Your day is filled with dread.  Each turn is loaded.  You rarely experience a feeling of comfort.  You experience generalized anxiety.  Your mood is flat.  You are oriented towards getting the approval of others.  You believe there is a “right” and a “wrong” way to do things.  You feel a hidden, but persistent ache for relief.  You experience a constant pressure to strive for more.  You engage in little to no relaxed leisure time.  You believe that one day your efforts will pay off, but your fear of the total collapse of all of your efforts seems to overshadow your hope for a big win.  You have a high need for control.  You are unable to communicate your full wishes to others for fear of seeming needy or vulnerable.

Sound like you?  Join the very large crowd.

Perfectionists come in all shapes and sizes.  We all crave a bit of perfect now and then.  It helps to buffer against the slings and arrows in this world, in our lives.  It helps to have an aim (perfection), but the problem with perfectionism is the goal (being perfect) will eternally be elusive.  This leads to bigger problems, like having our days be filled with fears of imperfection. Ironic, but true.

Release Yourself from the Grip of Perfectionism

I encourage those of you who are straining under the weight of perfectionism to consider coming out.  Examine what letting others know about what you know about yourself — the good, the bad, and the ugly — might do for your spirit and your ability to move in your life.

Test the waters a bit.  Examine your own demands for order, correctness, meeting others' standards.  Remind yourself that you can loosen up.  You may need the support of a therapist or another professional to release yourself from the grip of habit and the hold that perfectionism tends to have on our capacity to be flexible, open, and ourselves.

When you come out you:

• will feel uneasy
• will feel like you've blown your cover
• will feel like you're not the expert anymore

But you will also feel:

• liberated
• anxiously excited
• renewed
• available for change and learning
• more present in your own life

You will continue to be the striving, hard-working, well-meaning person you always have been.  No one can take that away from you.  When you decide you no longer wish to be bound by perfectionist standards, your innate talents and your ability to effect change in the world will only grow.