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2 Ways to Make Starting Easier That Have Nothing to Do With Motivation

by | Feb 26, 2016 | Actions, All Posts, Resistance, Techniques

Start.

The following post is brought to you by my new friend, Shaun Flanders of Zero to Habit. Shaun kindly reached out to me after I made a comment on someone else's site, and that sparked a great, mutually-supportive blogger relationship.  I hope you'll take a moment to visit his site, which is packed with his thoughts on how to get more out of life without stress or strain.  You can see how we might get along.  Enjoy.

Jane is an old friend. She's married with two kids and works full time. She wants to start exercising consistently so she can look and feel better, be a good role model for her kids and have a longer, healthier life. She's started and stopped working out more times than she can count. Now, it's been months since she's exercised and she's starting to feel pretty crappy about the shape she's in.

You could say Jane quit because she didn't have the willpower, motivation or self-discipline to stick with it. I'd flip that around and say the reason Jane quit is because she didn't start.

Starting is the most difficult and fragile part of any habit. I say that because, when you really think about it, starting isn't a challenge we get to overcome once, the very first time we do something. Rather, we have to start every single time.

Somewhere along the way there was a day Jane didn't start getting her exercise clothes together. She didn't start driving to the gym. She didn't start taking the first step on the treadmill. And every day since then, she hasn't started with any of it.

In a way it's semantics, but I think it simplifies things. Jane doesn't have a “starting problem” and a “sticking with it problem.” She just has one thing she needs to focus on: getting really good at starting. Having one thing to do can feel a lot easier than having many.

You Don't Need to Be a Magician to Be a Good Starter
Have you ever told yourself “I need to be more disciplined,” “I just don't have enough willpower,” or “I wish I was motivated like other people seem to be”?

The thing about that kind of negative self-talk is because it feels awful, it is demotivating and self-perpetuating. It makes you feel crappy, and because you feel crappy, you're even less likely to start that thing you've been putting off.

The other thing is it just isn't true. Motivation, willpower, and self-discipline are fleeting and unreliable. Everyone struggles with them to some degree. And for those of us who struggle more, staying motivated, being disciplined, and having strong willpower can seem like some kind of magic trick that we don't know.

A better approach, and the one I recommend to my clients, is to expect your motivation, willpower, and self-discipline to abandon you. Then build a plan for success that is based on things you can actively do.

The Way Forward to Successful Starting
You do things you remember to do, you're able to do, and you want to do badly enough that you're willing to make the required effort.
We've already established that your “want to,” or your motivation, isn't reliable. So you have to work with other parts of the equation. The two things you should focus on are maximizing “remembering” and minimizing “effort required.”

Remembering
If your strategy for remembering is to “just try to remember,” then there's a really good chance you won't. It's a simple thing, but it's a big deal. Treat it like one.
Do specific things to automatically bring your new thing into your attention. In habit-speak these are called cues or triggers. Here are some cues I've used successfully in my own life and with clients:
  • Visual cues: Put your running shoes on the bathroom floor right where you stand to brush your teeth so you can't miss them. Print out a calendar and write “I DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER” across the top, put it up on the wall at work so visually it's right next to your computer monitor, then cross off each day as you go. There are countless other cues you could develop. Come up with a couple that work for you. Simple is best.
  • Involving other people:  Recruit someone to start your new thing with you or join a group already doing your desired activity in order to keep it top of mind. You won't want to let other people down, and the social interaction will make the experience multi-faceted, extending beyond the action itself.
  • Tech tools:  Schedule your thing in your calendar, set up a reminder on your phone, or use an app like Productive for iPhone.
Making it Easier
You need less motivation to do easier things. Counteract unreliable motivation by making starting easier. Here are my two favorite ways:
  1. Come up with a small version of your thing to do when your motivation is low. If Jane wants to run a mile 3 times a week, she might pick a small version like just running to the end of her block and back, or walking a shorter route through her neighborhood. Sure, the small version won't give her the same physical results on that day as running the full mile, but she probably wasn't going to run the full mile that day anyway. By doing the small version she'll have done something vs. nothing. And importantly, she'll have kept exercising in her life, even on a tough day. Think “Consistency over intensity.”
  2. Recognize that there's all this other stuff you have to account for before you can start to perform your intended task. Usually, these things hide under the surface, quietly distracting you. Bring them to the surface by writing them down. Then you can knock them off one by one, making starting easier and gaining momentum with every step.
          Common examples include:
  • Getting clear on specifics: Saying, “I'm going to start working out again” isn't going to get Jane very far. It leaves too many questions unanswered — What kind of exercise is she going to to? On which days? At what time? With whom? Where? “I'm going to start running in my neighborhood every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday after work with my neighbor Pam” is a specific plan she can follow through on.
  • Doing the prep: Jane may need to coordinate with her husband to be home early on her workout days so he can watch the kids, recruit Pam to run with her, and scout out a route through her neighborhood.
  • Getting the gear:  If Jane hasn't already got the running shoes, clothes, water bottle, distance tracking app for her phone, etc. that she wants to use, she'll need to get them before she can go for her first run.
To recap, remember three simple points to make starting easier:
  • Motivation is fleeting. Enjoy it when it's there, but don't rely on it. Plan for success without it. And don't beat yourself up for not having more motivation than you do. You're just fine.
  • Nothing happens until you remember to do your thing. Take simple steps to bring it into your attention as often as possible.
  • Make starting easier by giving yourself a small version of your thing to do when motivation flakes on you, and by making a simple list of the little things you need to do before you can start.
Then start. Easier said than done, I know. But hopefully you've gotten an idea or two here that will make the doing a little easier as well.
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Shaun Flanders is a student and teacher of starting habits that last without relying on willpower or motivation. Visit his site at zerotohabit.com to see more of his work, including case studies showing how he's helped people start new habits that, over time, will help them achieve their dreams and accomplish the things that are most important to them.